Indifference

Love is not the opposite of hate. Both feelings emerge from the same yearning: the ambition of sharing. In love’s case there is the hope of reciprocity. With hate, hope is lost in the perception of rejection. The opposite of love and hate is indifference. Indifference is the forced and successful separation from that which threatens us. Indifference is a powerful and destructive weapon. We grow when we lay bridges that connect us. When we lift these bridges in an effort to protect psychological borders we run the risk of alienation. A temporary alienation is desirable in situations when we need to protect ourselves psychologically from outside attacks. In those cases, lifting the bridges, as in a medieval castle, allows us to temporarily survive the attack. Moments of introspection allow us to anchor ourselves in creative and noble idiosyncrasies. Permanent alienation turns us inhuman. Leaders and criminals assault their communities and fellow people motivated by continuous waves of alienation. Alone and without any type of lasting emotional connections, many of us survive through opportunism and abuse. But alienation ends up killing our souls. People without souls end up cannibalizing their most enduring values and shorten their physical, economic and spiritual life expectancies.

All of this looks like a flood of vagabond words, but it is more than that. In countries where opportunism and abuse reign supreme, human beings search for the lair of indifference in a bid to survive. In countries where respect and rule of law reign, people can open up to the idea of depending more on self- and group-improvement. People with souls create networks that allow for personal and collective improvement because they have protective nets for qualities that transcend the cruelties of the moment.

It is hard to understand how in Hitler’s Germany a couple of guards could abuse hundreds or thousands of unarmed Jews. The victims of Nazi repression had lost the capacity of emotionally responding to the abuse. What happened in ‘30s and ‘40s Germany has also occurred in many other countries, and is increasingly occurring in Latin America, with the rise in governments with dictatorial tendencies that abuse economic, security and political power. The cost for these nations and the continent is high. There will be lost generations that have lived their only life in indifference as an instrument of survival.

But how does one overcome indifference when it has become the most immediate tool for survival? The answer does not lie in miraculous spontaneities. The only way to overcome states of indifference is with “deference.” Deference is the process by which we appreciate our rights, and we carry out the duties of respecting and developing our own personal qualities. We differentiate between good and evil without excessive shows of emotions. We adopt correct ways of acting and reject those deemed improper. We don’t play dumb when it is convenient and accept moral inaction when it is not convenient or when we do not feel like fighting harsh remarks. Deference occurs when we support those that make an ideal effort to rectify mistakes and we respect the rights of everyone, including those we do not personally admire.

Difference and indifference have something in common. Both states subtract emotionality as an instrument for survival. But in “deferent” states emotionality is subtracted in order to respect the rights of others. In “indifferent” states emotionality is subtracted in order to allow the abuse of someone else’s rights. Deference allows us to grow spiritually. Indifference leads to the death of the spirit and profound social violence.