Super Dads, Godfathers, and Sugar Daddies

There is only one mother, but fathers come in many different flavors. First we have the super dads. My father was a super dad. They take care of us since we are born. They teach us lessons in morality and integrity, and they turn our intellectual and room lights on and off when we have dosed off after a lot of studying or a lot of partying. They reprimand us constructively and point us in the right direction with patience and wisdom, even though it might not be the easiest thing to do. There is no doubt, that young leaders like Yon Goicoechea, winner of this year’s Milton Friedman Liberty Prize, have a great father who gives them direction from time to time, and to that great father I send my respects and admiration on this day. He must be very proud of his son’s bravery and morality in the face of temptations that the world throws at us at every corner. I understand that this father is in jail in Venezuela and it makes me extremely sad that he will not be able to be at home with his family to celebrate this special day. He should be freed generously and humanely. No one with a son that good can be so bad as to deserve to be incarcerated, especially in a country where so much crime goes unpunished. Super dads like this one deserve all types of tributes, because they turn their sons into universal leaders and models of conduct. It is not easy to be a super dad. It takes a great amount of sacrifice. They have to say no and restrain the children they love, because the moral highroad is not always the easiest or the most flattering.

Then we have the godfathers. There are a lot more godfathers than there are super dads. It must be because the label does not carry as much responsibility, or because there are plenty of men who are not chosen as godfathers and others who have more than one godson (super dads choose themselves with joy and a vocation, like saints in search of fulfillment and indulgence). Godfathers serve a very important function in the lives of children. They buy us bicycles when our parents can’t afford them. Mine gave me a sparkling black Raleigh, which opened the door to a neighborhood full of defiant and liberating adventures. They give us their blessing every time we see them, making us feel safe from malevolent curses and hexes. When we are all grown up, godfathers emerge, sometimes miraculously for no special reason, most times when they want us to owe them a favor for which they charge interest. We must be careful of those godfathers. They charge usury rates for the favors you owe them. Unselfish godfathers take care of us because they look after those that deserve it. Those godfathers are good people. They are mentors who fertilize life with their kindness and love for others, and water their plants and those of their neighbors. We wish them a happy Father’s day.

Finally, we have sugar daddies. Those generous and loving men with the ability to seduce damsels as though they where flute touting fakirs. They give away jewels and perfumes in exchange for young and not-so-young women’s siren songs. The bad thing about sugar daddies is that they are usually married to someone else and they are immoral and treacherous players. They stop being sweet when the chanting ends and their imagination goes to sleep. They ask for praises that lead to slavery and they develop confusing bad moods considering how tender they are when they are pursuing their slippery objectives. They should not get presents on Father’s Day, because they are scoundrels in search of loyalties they do not deserve. If they haven’t read this column they are capable of remaining lost in thought in the presence of some flirty little gift from the ladies that take advantage of their existential weaknesses. There is a lot to learn from sugar daddies and little to emulate or celebrate on this day. I wouldn’t even give them breakfast in bed.

This Sunday is a beautiful day in which we celebrate the procreation of the species and the fundamental role that men play in focusing responsibility and solidarity towards lifting the loads that come with having a family. There is only one mother, but we can use as many father figures as we can get in an effort to improve the safety net of our troubled communities. For all of those that deserve it, on earth and in heaven, and even some of those that don’t deserve it but try: Happy Father’s Day!

The Canary in the Mine

Mother’s Day came and went. I felt bad for not having written anything to celebrate it and I apologized to all my mothers. They told me not to worry; I still had time to do it. Now, I am sending this message out to all mothers and their progeny. No one in the world should be excluded.

Miners, when entering the bowels of Earth to excavate its riches, take canaries with them, not just because they like their company, but because when the canary stops whistling it’s time to come up and get some fresh air. The lack of oxygen in the mine affects the canary before it does the miners, because canaries have smaller lungs and large whistles. When societies and associations inhibit equality and silence their women, the oxygen in those mines is also running out. I have no doubt that the ability to solve problems is equally distributed among the sexes. Not so the ability to create them. Impatient and testosterone charged beings create more problems than those who are understanding and maternal. Brilliant, hardworking, and creative women can tolerate some abuse, as long as it is for no more than a few hours a day. That is why they tolerate stifling husbands, as long as they provide support for the family. But those same women cannot tolerate abuse at work that goes on for ten to twelve hours. A lot less of their identity depends on climbing the corporate ladder or getting a raise; it relies more on doing a good job for loved ones, whose happiness and reciprocity is closely related to the love they give. That is why women are so often referred to as having a healing, civilizing influence over societies. They do

Societies, like some arrogant states, where an active participation by women is lacking in all facets of public life, end up self-destructing. Mothers want their sons to get married, so that other women can carry on with their domestication once mothers have done all that they can. Similarly, companies and governments in which women are not present tend to show a lack of creativity, an inability to cope with new demands and other inefficiencies. Even though fathers have always been better fishermen and hunters, mothers have managed the crops of all developed societies. A good share, if not all, of the increase in general productivity and the service sector in the United States over the last thirty years has been due to the influx of a large number of university graduate women and mothers to the work force. Between 1970 and 1990, 10% more women joined the job force than did their male counterparts. This led to a reduction in financial risk among middle-class families, an increase in productivity and consumption, and a reduction in the need to save, since the family unit was less vulnerable to financial distress.

I worry when our societies take two steps forward and one step back and experience a reduction in the increase of women’s high level participation in public and corporate life. I am afraid these societies and companies may end up like mines without oxygen. It is worrisome that after significant progress made in the 80’s and 90’s, women’s gains in the US economy stopped 15 years ago and are declining. At many high level conferences I attend, women’s attendance leveled at about 15% and to the naked eye it is less than 10% in the last couple of years.

We can observe an increase in women entrepreneurs where they have the power to efficiently decide what direction they want to take. I know that women are great entrepreneurs. It might be their natural destiny. But it would be better to create work environments that inspire more rather than fewer women to rise to corporate and public life challenges.

Long live selfless mothers, hard working and entrepreneurial women. They make our countries noble and resistant to the abuse of testosterone. Sons, take care of those beautiful and musical canaries that let us know when we must abandon the mine before we asphyxiate from lack of oxygen.

Next Sunday I will write something for Father’s Day, so fathers will feel happy, take a deep breath and enjoy the whistling of the canaries that attest to the oxygen in their lives.